Traveling Tricks

Trick #2
Some B&Bs are actually hippie communes. Be prepared, bring underwear to share.

Trick #12
On red-eye flights, airlines strategically place babies and small children throughout the aircraft. They are paid by the airline to cry and whine. Trick: if you own the baby, you get paid.

Trick #27
Helping airport cleaning staff is inappropriate.

Trick #32
If you are longer than your bed then sleep diagonally with your head next to your alarm clock. (If you do not have an alarm clock you can sleep in four different ways.)

Trick #61
If you don't know where to eat then ask the fat airport staff. They likely have an opinion.

Trick #74
If you're hungry while in Toronto's Pearson airport, commit suicide. There's more choice in hell.

Trick #98
If your taxi driver has involuntary muscle spams do not panic. Good luck though.

Trick #102
Credit card sales-booth people are just as bored as you are. Pretending you need a credit card is fun, but not nice.

Trick #103
Creativity is enhanced by boredom. Airports are an artists muse.