Our vacation... Sorta.

Once upon a time, there was a prince and a maid. The maid was tired and needed a vacation so the prince declared, "We shall go on a vacation to Newfunland. Maid, you shall pay for our vacation." (Though the Prince's coffers were full, he was cheap.)

News of the prince's vacation travelled quickly. Newfunlanders were overjoyed that the prince would visit their forgotten island in the kingdom of Kannada. The prince's visit warranted a celebration known to the local rock-people as a welding, to which the prince and maid were invited.

The Prince accepted the invitation and readied his formal welding attire. To his horror, the maid discovered that his welding shoes had become white and fuzzy. The Prince's shoes had been cursed by Evil Mold and Little Use. The maid fetched a magic potion called Shoo Cleaner from under her sink. With one deft spray and wipe, the Prince destroyed Evil Mold and Little Use. His shoes had been restored.

The Prince's battle left him compassionate to suffering caused by evil. To express his gratitude for the invitation to the welding, the Prince decided that he should destroy the evil Moose Clan. The Moose Clan was evil because it routinely attacked traveling road-weary Newfunlanders and was smelly.

The Moose Clan was strong in the west, in Gross Morning national park. Knowing this, the Prince prepared for adventure and misadventure awaiting him in Gross Morning were he expected to battle the Moose Clan. He wisely decide to bring his maid as the Moose Clan would often exchange a life for a maid. His thoughts were: better her than me.

The prince gave orders to ready his magic flight-bird. The flight-bird was used on special occasions to travel great distances. And, so they went.

The Moose Clan was very strong so the prince ordered his flight bird to land in Mmmtreatall. He wished to consult with the very old and wise Mmmtreatallers from which both he and his maid descended.

While unpacking the Prince's luggage, the maid discovered a broken lock. No royal key could open the lock. The colorful old king fetched the mighty hacksaw of old and the vise of staying from his dungeons. The king and the prince applied these charmed tools to the broken lock. Once cut, the lock opened. Many celebrated with drumming and feasts. These were the wise ways of the Mmmtreatallers.

Once the counsel of the demented had shared their advice on the Moose Clan, the Prince and maid took to the air in the Prince's magic flight-bird. (Admittedly there were delays. The secret Air Kannada brotherhood who operated the royal flight-bird had to replace a defective flight computer.) Post delays, they flew east to Newfunland.

In Newfunland, Fred the Russian represented by Juan the Spaniard loaned the Prince and maid a chariot. The chariot was named Raoul. This magical chariot was night black, had four wheels and originated from the distant lands of the United Mates. It drew its power from a clear potion made from the oldest life that had been cooked in the fires of hell and pressed in the pressures of deep.

Much potion was required to travel to Gross Morning national park. Fortunately, Raoul had a fairy who would sing when Raoul required more potion. Unfortunately, the fairy was drunk and sung poorly or not at all. So, the Prince and maid left not knowing if they would be stranded in Moose Clan country.

On their long journey to the west, the Prince and maid stopped to rest in Beer Lake. They ate at the Jim Horton's inn. The inn's maids assumed the Prince and his maid were traveling beggars. The inn's maids did not know of the Prince and his maid, for they travelled in secret. When the Prince's maid requested a bowl of chili, the inn's maids, pitying her small frame, gave her extra.

Although the Prince and his maid traveled in secret, the Moose Clan's scouts soon discovered their whereabouts. To weaken the Prince, the Moose Clan cast a spell on the Prince's gear. On the first morning of their quest, the maid discovered a broken flask of cleansing fluid. The Prince used the fluid to prepare his hands for his magic lenses of seeing. Shit! The maid secretly loved the Prince so she salvaged the fluid to win his favour.

The first day of their quest was difficult. A huricane-god Bill frowned on them. Futhermore, the Prince and his maid encountered two moose sentries, two loons and a mouse. They avoided the moose sentries, observed the loons and frightened the mouse (a smaller cousin of the moose).

As the Jim Horton's inn maids had noticed, the Prince's maid was malnourished. On this difficult day, the Prince was forced to carry extra weight because the weak maid could not handle her load. He considered dismissing her that very day, but remembered that the Moose Clan would often exchange a life for a maid. As soon as they made camp, the maid slept.

The Gods smiled upon the Prince and his maid on the second day of their quest. They moved quickly in the good weather and only saw one moose sentry.

Upon reaching camp on their second day, they discovered carnage left behind from a great battle between the Moose Clan and the Sub-Human Stupids. The Prince and his maid found a dirty pair of blue jeans, a 5 kilogram jar of peanut butter, a bag of quest nut-mix and a squeeze tube of jam. Oh my!

The fickle Gods no longer smiled on the Prince and his maid on the third day of their quest. This time hurricane-god Danny frowned on them. They searched two 700 meter peaks in rain, fog and wind to find the Moose Clan's king, but to no avail. They only scared a moose sentry.

On the fourth day, huricane-god Danny continued to torment the Prince and his maid with thick nasty fog. Since they had only a map and compass, they had no choice but to sit and wait, and hope. As the day grew long, GPS elves arrived and made camp alongside the Prince. The elves were nice and good conversations were had.

Huricane-god Danny renewed his trickery on the quest's fifth day. The Prince and his maid left camp with great hopes. Fog soon wrapped them in its deadly blanket leaving the Prince and his maid stranded near a pond.

From the fog, appeared the wise GPS elves, traveling without seeing. In a gesture unbecoming of a prince, the Prince begged the elves to guide him from Gross Morning national park. The elves accepted and even allowed the lowly maid to follow.

Although the Moose Clan's king was never found, the Newfunlanders were pleased by the Prince's gesture. They celebrated the Prince's return from the west with a magnificent welding. To punish the Prince's maid for her un-maid like behaviour on the first day of the quest, the maid was forced to be a bride's maid during the welding ceremony and banquet.


The Prince's Notes:
The Prince would like to apologize for blending and destroying a wooden spoon. The Prince would also like to thank Dr. Bob for use of his castle and Dr. Steve for his generous feasts.

The Prince's maid ironed the Prince's formal welding attire to again win the Prince's favour. With this gesture, she finally did.


The Maid's Notes:
Unavailable due to house work.


I'll post some of our pictures soon.